Gratitude really does make a difference. Some days are tough for this adult child, even though I am not a direct caregiver for my elderly parents. The amazing assisted living staff and an incredible caregiver, who visits two or three times each week, provide the bulk of the support. Yet, there is still so much … Continue reading
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The “Firsts” that Mean Your Aging Parent Grows More Fragile
As we watch our parents age into older elderhood — the period when they dramatically slow down and require additional support — we often observe that a situation changes. Suddenly we notice, for the first time, that an activity that used to be easy — and often much-loved — becomes too difficult to accomplish. When … Continue reading
Five Challenges to the Elusive Goal of Aging in Place
I’ve met many older adults who want to age in place, but for many individuals it is difficult to stay in their homes. In the best situations, either the elder or a family member is able to monitor the situation, assuring that everything is in order and making changes as necessary. Designing and carrying out realistic … Continue reading
When an Elderly Parent Is Unable to Learn New Things but Still Wants to Do Them
What can you do and say when elderly, and extremely fragile parents try to do things that are simply too difficult? Many adult children who support elderly parents arrive at a point when their fragile parents function pretty well with the activities of daily living (ADLs) yet possess less and less of the cognitive energy that’s required … Continue reading
Grandparents Helping With Grandchildren
My husband and I spend a fair amount of time, usually more than one day each week, helping my elderly parents in various ways. However, for several days every other month, we take time off from supporting the elder generation and focus our energy on the young adult members of my family and their son … Continue reading
Funerals: Taking Over from Elderly Parents
When parents live into their 90s, they are very much alive as they observe, with deep sadness, the many friends and family members who pass on ahead of them. Moreover, there comes a time in the aging adult caregiving process when elderly parents can no longer travel, so an adult child takes over the responsibility of connecting … Continue reading
Why Hospitals Scare the Adult Children of Older Elders
After I my recent post on hospital induced delirium, people begin chatting with me, unsolicited, about their elderly parents’ hospital experiences. Admitting an aging parent to a hospital appears to instill significant anxiety and resignation in adult children. The spontaneous conversations usually focused on the ways that hospitals, despite commitment to good medical practices, cheerful … Continue reading
If You Worry About Dementia in Any Way, Read Seven Steps to Managing Your Memory
My husband and I have now offered support and reassurance to four older parents with memory loss. While each individual has experienced some type of dementia, all at fairly advanced ages, each of their situations has been unique. Each time the assistance we offered to our parents depended upon putting together a fairly complex puzzle … Continue reading
On Caregiving & Considering My Own Late Years of Life
Every time I chat with my friends and colleagues who are helping parents navigate through their older elderhood years, one person or another inevitably makes a comment about how easy it is and yes, a bit nerve-wracking, to picture being in the same fragile position as their parents. No one disputes that we all age. … Continue reading
Older Elders and the End of Life
If you are an adult child with ninetysomething parents, you are probably familiar with the drill. Like me you may receive phone calls from an elderly parent a couple of times each week, usually asking a question, describing a problem, or just expressing anxiety. Or you may hear from caregivers about a problem — a … Continue reading
More on Fraudulent Phone Calls and Scams
I do not think a week goes by when one of my elderly parents doesn’t mention a strange phone call. They are always disconcerting and often scary, and older adult are prime targets. An excellent article, Die, Robocalls, Die: A How-to Guide to Stop Spammers and Extract Revenge, appeared this week in the Washington Post. The … Continue reading
The Things Not Forgotten: A Road to Elder Loneliness & Isolation
Loss of connections, associations, and skills, that at one time were easy, seems to exacerbate cognitive decline in older elders because many are aware of what is happening. I’ve now closely observed five elderly family members move through late-in-life years, four of them having lived into their 90s with two of them still living. Four … Continue reading
Older Elders, Adult Children & THE CAR
At what point do you encourage or insist that parents in their late 80s and early 90s stop driving? Every adult child speaks quietly and with angst about this aging parent car conundrum. Almost no one is satisfied with the end result. It seems to be a painful, no-win dilemma in just about every family. More … Continue reading
Dad Just Needed an Old-Fashioned Radio
I wondered whether memories and information about the older model radio, a type that he used many years ago, might be stored in his long-term memory and make a similar radio easy to use. If I was right, he might automatically turn the dial and get his music. Continue reading
Every 19 Minutes A Person in the U.S. Dies from a Fall…
Check out Jane Brody’s February 25, 2019 New York Times health column Falls Can Kill You, Here’s How to Minimize the Risk. I’ve already put the most shocking information — a person dying from a fall every 19 minutes — in the title of this post. Brody talks about the dangers of falls for older … Continue reading
Confusion or Delirium in a Hospital or New Living Situation
Several older elders in my family have developed extreme confusion when they in the hospital or emergency room. Here’s what I learned about it. Continue reading
I Knew I Was Right to Dispose of Those Powerful Pain Killers
Recently memories about whether or not to use pain medications came flooding back after reading a New York Times article Alternatives to Opioids for Pain Relief. The article described research that compares the effectiveness of opioid and non-opioid medicines. It made me remember just how easily power pain medications have been prescribed. Physicians observed and … Continue reading
Sometimes an Article About Elder Abuse Is Just Plain Horrifying…
If you are supporting elder parents or expect to be involved with their assistance in the future, take some time to read the New Yorker article, How the Elderly Lose Their Rights. The long story, by Rachel Aviv, describes the abuses that can occur when unscrupulous people seek the guardianship of elders. It focuses on … Continue reading
Prepare Elderly Parents for Their New Medicare Cards
If you are an individual who focuses on personal data security, one of the most surprising things you discover when it’s time to offer support to aging parents is that Social Security numbers appear right on the front of the Medicare card. Americans are told not to carry their Social Security cards around, but once they … Continue reading
Plan to Help Elderly Parents Set Up Electronic Medical Records
If you assist or provide support for an older elder in your family, check to see whether you need to help out with that individual’s electronic medical records (EMRs). You may have routinely set up your own EMRs without much thought, but many elder adults have not established or have had difficulty establishing their accounts. … Continue reading
