If you are an adult child with ninetysomething parents, you are probably familiar with the drill. Like me you may receive phone calls from an elderly parent a couple of times each week, usually asking a question, describing a problem, or just expressing anxiety. Or you may hear from caregivers about a problem — a … Continue reading
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More on Fraudulent Phone Calls and Scams
I do not think a week goes by when one of my elderly parents doesn’t mention a strange phone call. They are always disconcerting and often scary, and older adult are prime targets. An excellent article, Die, Robocalls, Die: A How-to Guide to Stop Spammers and Extract Revenge, appeared this week in the Washington Post. The … Continue reading
Not Forgetting: A Road to Elder Loneliness & Isolation
Loss of connections, associations, and skills, that at one time were easy, seems to exacerbate cognitive decline in older elders because many are aware of what is happening. I’ve now closely observed five elderly family members move through late-in-life years, four of them having lived into their 90s with two of them still living. Four … Continue reading
Older Elders, Adult Children & THE CAR
At what point do you encourage or insist that parents in their late 80s and early 90s stop driving? Every adult child speaks quietly and with angst about this aging parent car conundrum. Almost no one is satisfied with the end result. It seems to be a painful, no-win dilemma in just about every family. More … Continue reading
Dad Needed an Old-Fashioned Radio
Sometimes, for a person of a certain age, it may be too difficult to learn something new. Those of us who love our 21 Century digital tools, often surmise that using technology can help aging elders cope with the weaknesses that occur as an individual grows, well, older. It’s true that individuals, as they age, … Continue reading
Every 19 Minutes A Person in the U.S. Dies from a Fall…
Check out Jane Brody’s February 25, 2019 New York Times health column Falls Can Kill You, Here’s How to Minimize the Risk. I’ve already put the most shocking information — a person dying from a fall every 19 minutes — in the title of this post. Brody talks about the dangers of falls for older … Continue reading
Confusion or Delirium in a Hospital or New Living Situation
Several older elders in my family have developed extreme confusion when they in the hospital or emergency room. Here’s what I learned about it. Continue reading
I Knew I Was Right to Dispose of Those Powerful Pain Killers
Recently memories about whether or not to use pain medications came flooding back after reading a New York Times article Alternatives to Opioids for Pain Relief. The article described research that compares the effectiveness of opioid and non-opioid medicines. It made me remember just how easily power pain medications have been prescribed. Physicians observed and … Continue reading
Sometimes an Article About Elder Abuse Is Just Plain Horrifying…
If you are supporting elder parents or expect to be involved with their assistance in the future, take some time to read the New Yorker article, How the Elderly Lose Their Rights. The long story, by Rachel Aviv, describes the abuses that can occur when unscrupulous people seek the guardianship of elders. It focuses on … Continue reading
Prepare Elderly Parents for Their New Medicare Cards
If you are an individual who focuses on personal data security, one of the most surprising things you discover when it’s time to offer support to aging parents is that Social Security numbers appear right on the front of the Medicare card. Americans are told not to carry their Social Security cards around, but once they … Continue reading
Plan to Help Elderly Parents Set Up Electronic Medical Records
If you assist or provide support for an older elder in your family, check to see whether you need to help out with that individual’s electronic medical records (EMRs). You may have routinely set up your own EMRs without much thought, but many elder adults have not established or have had difficulty establishing their accounts. … Continue reading
You Can’t Parent Your Parent — No Matter What
I just read a touching 2013 column about supporting elderly parents, written by Washington Post columnist, Cortland Milloy. In his column Milloy addresses the notion, so prevalent these days, that many of us are “parenting our parents.” I’ll let you read the column for yourself, but I have some firm issues when it comes to … Continue reading
Fraud, Investments, and Our Elder Parents
Check out “Why Older People are Vulnerable to Fraud & How to Protect Them, a February 2017 New York Times article that describes the ways older adults are susceptible to fraudulent phone calls and offers, especially when it concerns investments. It also makes suggestions about what people who get entangled in these offers can do. The … Continue reading
Alzheimer’s Drug Studies Failing, but There’s Still Optimism
If you are the adult child of an elder, you often worry about that family member’s memory, and you are always on the lookout for potential problems. If you are like me, you comb the the scientific literature and health articles looking for information dreaming of a solution to a weakening memory. Some days the research … Continue reading
Giving vs. Receiving: Growing Older & Extreme Frustration
Change is constant when we age, and it’s important for adult children occasionally to consider the changes in our elder parents’ lives by looking through the prisms that our parents gaze through and thoughtfully examining their perspectives. In a conversation with my mom — who has found herself less energetic and more dependent on others — she shared her journal … Continue reading
The Anatomy of a Fall — Mine
In April 2016 the health writer Jane Brody wrote a powerful essay in the New York Times Personal Health column, Thriving at Age 70 and Beyond. She described the importance of focusing, as we age, on a healthy life style and maintaining social relationships as well as adjusting to age-related physical changes that occur. Brody specifically … Continue reading
Stop Saying These Three Things to Elder Adults!
When they speak to elderly seniors, middle-age children and and other adults tend to say things, often unintentionally, that demonstrate a lack of respect and empathy. Sometimes it happens when a person tries to solve a problem quickly; at others the goal is to move along getting to work or school on time. Not infrequently adult children … Continue reading
Advice-giving, Aging Parents & Adult Children
Advice-giving can trip up the elder parent – adult child relationship and even cause painful divisions between parent and child. My mother will ask me a question and the answer is fairly straightforward, but then I’ll keep on answering, advising, really. At other times, I offer unsolicited advice about one thing or another. Usually my mother … Continue reading
Music, the Brain, Aging, and Memory Diseases
We live with music throughout our lives — it surrounds people no matter what their age. Children, of course, love to sing at almost as soon as they are born, but music, even for those who are not musicians, is a part of the air people breathe. Interestingly, music appears to become even more important as people age and contributes … Continue reading
Jane Gross Lecture on Caregiving and Her Family
Last fall Jane Gross, journalist and author of A Bittersweet Season, spoke about her experiences supporting and caring for her elderly mother. The presentation at Brethren Village, a retirement community in Lancaster, PA, shares observations, experiences, things she wishes she had done, and much more.
