When you decide to move you must also decide how your possessions will get from your old home to your new one. Some people I know have rented trucks. Others have sold much of their furniture and arrived in their new community ready to purchase new items. We decided, given the time constraints that we … Continue reading
Filed under adult children …
Moving in Mid-retirement, Part II: The Challenging Decisions
When we returned home from our two-month dress rehearsal in early March we needed to accomplish a great deal. during the two months we had purchased a house that was to be our new home and expected it to be ready in mid-June. With about ten weeks to sell our house, pack up and move … Continue reading
Aging in Place: Plans May Be Possible… or Not
For as long as I can remember, my parents planned to age in place in their home. They made me promise to support them in this endeavor, and I did. They understood initially that some situations — severe illness or extreme memory problems, for instance — might require their plans to be changed. But as … Continue reading
In Mid-retirement We Moved to be Near Family: Part I
Two years ago I would not have thought it possible. A move after living for 38 years in one place? Probably not. Yet we aging boomers did it. For seven years we had been driving on a regular basis to visit our daughter, her husband, and her kids — our grandchildren. More than 500 miles … Continue reading
The Car, My Elderly Parents, and Me
After living happily in their retirement community for nearly fifteen years, my parents were declining. My dad’s memory was weak, and my mom fell frequently. In their nineties, they ate almost every meal in one of the cafes and gradually ceased to use the various gadgets in their lives —the dishwasher, the c-pap mask, the humidifier, etc. Using … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #27: Confusing Personal Freedom with Caring
So here we are in the middle of December 2020, nine months into the pandemic, with the United States still awash in CoVid-19. Those who care for others continue to stay home, social distance when not at home, plan trips outside the home carefully, wear masks, and probably pine away for the “olden days” when … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #26: Connecting with Grandchildren!?
One of the joys of aging is the privilege of grandparenting. If one takes seriously the fundamental precept that engaging in healthy activities helps one age well, the opportunity to support children and grandchildren is right up there on the keeping-healthy scale. At first, way back last March, it did not seem like isolation would … Continue reading
It’s Not Worth Correcting Family Members With Weakening Memories
Forgetting is an everyday affair when dementia creeps into a family’s life. For adult children it presents a conversation conundrum. Speaking with fragile parents as they recall even more fragile memories can be frustrating and time consuming. Used to functioning as knowledgeable and independent individuals, people with memory challenges do not expect to be corrected. … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #20: Not Wearing Masks Near a Caregiving Community??
It has been 80 days since I’ve seen my parents, and it’s frustrating. As an adult daughter, I want to offer support and help them remain in good spirits as they traverse the rough road of their fragile elderhood while simultaneously living through an international pandemic. Right now, though, just about the only things I … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #19: Missing Children and Grandchildren
Ask just about anyone my age to describe what is most difficult about this increasingly long period of CoVid-19 social distancing (63 days at my house), and just about everyone mentions their separation from adult children and grandchildren. And my friends with new babies in the family ache to reach out and touch them. It’s … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #13: It’s a Time of Melancholy If Parents Are in Long Term Care…
I’m so appreciative of the way the assisted living community where my parents now live went into action quickly. Right after the problems in the care community in Washington state, my parents’ little village closed to visitors and set up dining services that emphasize social distance. I know VMRC is doing everything possible to protect … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #12: The Developmental Stages of Social Distancing
As a lifelong educator, I tend to consider challenges, be they learning or life-related, by observing the developmental stages that people pass through. When I think about family issues, learning problems, unusual challenges, or ongoing predicaments I deconstruct the steps needed to address an issue, learn about it, and, if necessary develop coping skills. Most … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #11, FaceTiming With My Parents — Thanks, VMRC!
For twelve days I have walked around worrying about my parents, no matter what else I am doing. Oh, I am not worried about their assisted living community or how it is run. It’s as good as it gets when it comes to caring, respect, and attention to needs. And epidemiology wise, the staff is … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #9: Missing My Parents
I miss my parents so much. It’s been almost two weeks — two long weeks since their assisted living community was closed to visitors. I’ve met half-a-dozen other adult children whose parents are in similar situations. I know they are well taken care of, and I know that the staff is doing everything possible to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #8: Running Errands
Social distancing is hard enough, but so are the steps required to go out and do something and come home again. Each day I spend most of the time at home, with the exception of my daily walk and occasional errands to the grocery store. I have a pretty detailed routine that I go through … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #7: Bill Gates Predicted this Pandemic for Over Ten Years
I keep meeting people who are surprised about the CoVid-19 pandemic and the social distancing strategies required to help mitigate the spread of the coronavirus. This is an especially common musing among adult children caregivers whose elderly parents are now isolated and without any visitors as assisted living and long term care communities try to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #5: My Grandmother & Church Caregiving During the 1918 Influenza
I was so grateful yesterday as I attended a remote worship service broadcast from my church, Rock Spring United Chruch of Christ. This was caregiving at its best, during bringing light and hope to our CoVid-19 social distancing days. Given the number of people who attended our service and the many others around the country, … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #4: So What Does Social Distancing Accomplish?
Note: Sharing the image below may help people make better decisions. “Why,” my mom asked, “do we need to do this?” She was asking why she cannot have visitors and why my husband and I are for the most part staying in our home and aiming to go to the grocery store no more than … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #3: Staying Connected With My Parents
My parents live about 100 miles away from my home, and their assisted living community is locked down and not permitting visitors. The goal is to keep the CoVid-19 away from the residents as much as possible. I feel nothing by gratitude for the kindness and dedication of the staff. Preventive care at its best.
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #1: When Assisted Living Closes to Visitors
If you have elderly parents in their 80s or 90s, you are most likely worried about how they will weather the pandemic. As an adult child, I am definitely worried. I am pleased to share that the assisted living community where my parents reside has decided to limit visitors, including family members. While it will … Continue reading
As Our Parents Age So Do We 