For twelve days I have walked around worrying about my parents, no matter what else I am doing. Oh, I am not worried about their assisted living community or how it is run. It’s as good as it gets when it comes to caring, respect, and attention to needs. And epidemiology wise, the staff is … Continue reading
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Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #9: Missing My Parents
I miss my parents so much. It’s been almost two weeks — two long weeks since their assisted living community was closed to visitors. I’ve met half-a-dozen other adult children whose parents are in similar situations. I know they are well taken care of, and I know that the staff is doing everything possible to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #8: Running Errands
Social distancing is hard enough, but so are the steps required to go out and do something and come home again. Each day I spend most of the time at home, with the exception of my daily walk and occasional errands to the grocery store. I have a pretty detailed routine that I go through … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #7: Bill Gates Predicted this Pandemic for Over Ten Years
I keep meeting people who are surprised about the CoVid-19 pandemic and the social distancing strategies required to help mitigate the spread of the coronavirus. This is an especially common musing among adult children caregivers whose elderly parents are now isolated and without any visitors as assisted living and long term care communities try to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #5: My Grandmother & Church Caregiving During the 1918 Influenza
I was so grateful yesterday as I attended a remote worship service broadcast from my church, Rock Spring United Chruch of Christ. This was caregiving at its best, during bringing light and hope to our CoVid-19 social distancing days. Given the number of people who attended our service and the many others around the country, … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #4: So What Does Social Distancing Accomplish?
Note: Sharing the image below may help people make better decisions. “Why,” my mom asked, “do we need to do this?” She was asking why she cannot have visitors and why my husband and I are for the most part staying in our home and aiming to go to the grocery store no more than … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #3: Staying Connected With My Parents
My parents live about 100 miles away from my home, and their assisted living community is locked down and not permitting visitors. The goal is to keep the CoVid-19 away from the residents as much as possible. I feel nothing by gratitude for the kindness and dedication of the staff. Preventive care at its best.
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #1: When Assisted Living Closes to Visitors
If you have elderly parents in their 80s or 90s, you are most likely worried about how they will weather the pandemic. As an adult child, I am definitely worried. I am pleased to share that the assisted living community where my parents reside has decided to limit visitors, including family members. While it will … Continue reading
What to Do With Family Pictures, Documents, Journals & More?
I am spending an enormous amount of time going through scrapbooks, photo albums, slide boxes, certificates, and much more. I’ve been away from this blog for a couple of months, focusing all my extra time on these boxes and boxes of family records. How does one decide what to keep (and what to toss)? I … Continue reading
When You’re Tired & Overwhelmed — but Still Grateful
Gratitude really does make a difference. Some days are tough for this adult child, even though I am not a direct caregiver for my elderly parents. The amazing assisted living staff and an incredible caregiver, who visits two or three times each week, provide the bulk of the support. Yet, there is still so much … Continue reading
The “Firsts” that Mean Your Aging Parent Grows More Fragile
As we watch our parents age into older elderhood — the period when they dramatically slow down and require additional support — we often observe that a situation changes. Suddenly we notice, for the first time, that an activity that used to be easy — and often much-loved — becomes too difficult to accomplish. When … Continue reading
Five Challenges to the Elusive Goal of Aging in Place
I’ve met many older adults who want to age in place, but for many individuals it is difficult to stay in their homes. In the best situations, either the elder or a family member is able to monitor the situation, assuring that everything is in order and making changes as necessary. Designing and carrying out realistic … Continue reading
When an Elderly Parent Is Unable to Learn New Things but Still Wants to Do Them
What can you do and say when elderly, and extremely fragile parents try to do things that are simply too difficult? Many adult children who support elderly parents arrive at a point when their fragile parents function pretty well with the activities of daily living (ADLs) yet possess less and less of the cognitive energy that’s required … Continue reading
Grandparents Helping With Grandchildren
My husband and I spend a fair amount of time, usually more than one day each week, helping my elderly parents in various ways. However, for several days every other month, we take time off from supporting the elder generation and focus our energy on the young adult members of my family and their son … Continue reading
Funerals: Taking Over from Elderly Parents
When parents live into their 90s, they are very much alive as they observe, with deep sadness, the many friends and family members who pass on ahead of them. Moreover, there comes a time in the aging adult caregiving process when elderly parents can no longer travel, so an adult child takes over the responsibility of connecting … Continue reading
Why Hospitals Scare the Adult Children of Older Elders
After I my recent post on hospital induced delirium, people begin chatting with me, unsolicited, about their elderly parents’ hospital experiences. Admitting an aging parent to a hospital appears to instill significant anxiety and resignation in adult children. The spontaneous conversations usually focused on the ways that hospitals, despite commitment to good medical practices, cheerful … Continue reading
If You Worry About Dementia in Any Way, Read Seven Steps to Managing Your Memory
My husband and I have now offered support and reassurance to four older parents with memory loss. While each individual has experienced some type of dementia, all at fairly advanced ages, each of their situations has been unique. Each time the assistance we offered to our parents depended upon putting together a fairly complex puzzle … Continue reading
On Caregiving & Considering My Own Late Years of Life
Every time I chat with my friends and colleagues who are helping parents navigate through their older elderhood years, one person or another inevitably makes a comment about how easy it is and yes, a bit nerve-wracking, to picture being in the same fragile position as their parents. No one disputes that we all age. … Continue reading
Older Elders and the End of Life
If you are an adult child with ninetysomething parents, you are probably familiar with the drill. Like me you may receive phone calls from an elderly parent a couple of times each week, usually asking a question, describing a problem, or just expressing anxiety. Or you may hear from caregivers about a problem — a … Continue reading
More on Fraudulent Phone Calls and Scams
I do not think a week goes by when one of my elderly parents doesn’t mention a strange phone call. They are always disconcerting and often scary, and older adult are prime targets. An excellent article, Die, Robocalls, Die: A How-to Guide to Stop Spammers and Extract Revenge, appeared this week in the Washington Post. The … Continue reading
