It has been 80 days since I’ve seen my parents, and it’s frustrating. As an adult daughter, I want to offer support and help them remain in good spirits as they traverse the rough road of their fragile elderhood while simultaneously living through an international pandemic. Right now, though, just about the only things I … Continue reading
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Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #18: Missing Children and Grandchildren
Ask just about anyone my age to describe what is most difficult about this increasingly long period of CoVid-19 social distancing (63 days at my house), and just about everyone mentions their separation from adult children and grandchildren. And my friends with new babies in the family ache to reach out and touch them. It’s … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #13: It’s a Time of Melancholy If Parents Are in Long Term Care…
I’m so appreciative of the way the assisted living community where my parents now live went into action quickly. Right after the problems in the care community in Washington state, my parents’ little village closed to visitors and set up dining services that emphasize social distance. I know VMRC is doing everything possible to protect … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #12: The Developmental Stages of Social Distancing
As a lifelong educator, I tend to consider challenges, be they learning or life-related, by observing the developmental stages that people pass through. When I think about family issues, learning problems, unusual challenges, or ongoing predicaments I deconstruct the steps needed to address an issue, learn about it, and, if necessary develop coping skills. Most … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #11, FaceTiming With My Parents — Thanks, VMRC!
For twelve days I have walked around worrying about my parents, no matter what else I am doing. Oh, I am not worried about their assisted living community or how it is run. It’s as good as it gets when it comes to caring, respect, and attention to needs. And epidemiology wise, the staff is … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #9: Missing My Parents
I miss my parents so much. It’s been almost two weeks — two long weeks since their assisted living community was closed to visitors. I’ve met half-a-dozen other adult children whose parents are in similar situations. I know they are well taken care of, and I know that the staff is doing everything possible to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #8: Running Errands
Social distancing is hard enough, but so are the steps required to go out and do something and come home again. Each day I spend most of the time at home, with the exception of my daily walk and occasional errands to the grocery store. I have a pretty detailed routine that I go through … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #7: Bill Gates Predicted this Pandemic for Over Ten Years
I keep meeting people who are surprised about the CoVid-19 pandemic and the social distancing strategies required to help mitigate the spread of the coronavirus. This is an especially common musing among adult children caregivers whose elderly parents are now isolated and without any visitors as assisted living and long term care communities try to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #5: My Grandmother & Church Caregiving During the 1918 Influenza
I was so grateful yesterday as I attended a remote worship service broadcast from my church, Rock Spring United Chruch of Christ. This was caregiving at its best, during bringing light and hope to our CoVid-19 social distancing days. Given the number of people who attended our service and the many others around the country, … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #4: So What Does Social Distancing Accomplish?
Note: Sharing the image below may help people make better decisions. “Why,” my mom asked, “do we need to do this?” She was asking why she cannot have visitors and why my husband and I are for the most part staying in our home and aiming to go to the grocery store no more than … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #3: Staying Connected With My Parents
My parents live about 100 miles away from my home, and their assisted living community is locked down and not permitting visitors. The goal is to keep the CoVid-19 away from the residents as much as possible. I feel nothing by gratitude for the kindness and dedication of the staff. Preventive care at its best.
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #1: When Assisted Living Closes to Visitors
If you have elderly parents in their 80s or 90s, you are most likely worried about how they will weather the pandemic. As an adult child, I am definitely worried. I am pleased to share that the assisted living community where my parents reside has decided to limit visitors, including family members. While it will … Continue reading
What to Do With Family Pictures, Documents, Journals & More?
I am spending an enormous amount of time going through scrapbooks, photo albums, slide boxes, certificates, and much more. I’ve been away from this blog for a couple of months, focusing all my extra time on these boxes and boxes of family records. How does one decide what to keep (and what to toss)? I … Continue reading
When You’re Tired & Overwhelmed — but Still Grateful
Gratitude really does make a difference. Some days are tough for this adult child, even though I am not a direct caregiver for my elderly parents. The amazing assisted living staff and an incredible caregiver, who visits two or three times each week, provide the bulk of the support. Yet, there is still so much … Continue reading
The “Firsts” that Mean Your Aging Parent Grows More Fragile
As we watch our parents age into older elderhood — the period when they dramatically slow down and require additional support — we often observe that a situation changes. Suddenly we notice, for the first time, that an activity that used to be easy — and often much-loved — becomes too difficult to accomplish. When … Continue reading
Five Challenges to the Elusive Goal of Aging in Place
I’ve met many older adults who want to age in place, but for many individuals it is difficult to stay in their homes. In the best situations, either the elder or a family member is able to monitor the situation, assuring that everything is in order and making changes as necessary. Designing and carrying out realistic … Continue reading
When an Elderly Parent Is Unable to Learn New Things but Still Wants to Do Them
What can you do and say when elderly, and extremely fragile parents try to do things that are simply too difficult? Many adult children who support elderly parents arrive at a point when their fragile parents function pretty well with the activities of daily living (ADLs) yet possess less and less of the cognitive energy that’s required … Continue reading
Grandparents Helping With Grandchildren
My husband and I spend a fair amount of time, usually more than one day each week, helping my elderly parents in various ways. However, for several days every other month, we take time off from supporting the elder generation and focus our energy on the young adult members of my family and their son … Continue reading
Funerals: Taking Over from Elderly Parents
When parents live into their 90s, they are very much alive as they observe, with deep sadness, the many friends and family members who pass on ahead of them. Moreover, there comes a time in the aging adult caregiving process when elderly parents can no longer travel, so an adult child takes over the responsibility of connecting … Continue reading
Why Hospitals Scare the Adult Children of Older Elders
After I my recent post on hospital induced delirium, people begin chatting with me, unsolicited, about their elderly parents’ hospital experiences. Admitting an aging parent to a hospital appears to instill significant anxiety and resignation in adult children. The spontaneous conversations usually focused on the ways that hospitals, despite commitment to good medical practices, cheerful … Continue reading
