The last time my elderly father was in the hospital he was attached to an IV and heart monitor, and an alarm attached to his bed. Though he has rarely experienced a fall — throughout his whole life — Dad was considered a fall risk and told that he could not get out of bed … Continue reading
When You’re Tired & Overwhelmed — but Still Grateful
Gratitude really does make a difference. Some days are tough for this adult child, even though I am not a direct caregiver for my elderly parents. The amazing assisted living staff and an incredible caregiver, who visits two or three times each week, provide the bulk of the support. Yet, there is still so much … Continue reading
When an Aging Parent Cannot Use Calendar as a Daily Organizational Tool
A development that an adult child may observe in an elderly parent is the time when the calendar becomes less and less significant and managing time and appointments becomes more difficult. I can remember visiting my husband’s mother and mentioning that it was a Saturday morning. “Saturday?” she exclaimed. A friend told me how she … Continue reading
The “Firsts” that Mean Your Aging Parent Grows More Fragile
As we watch our parents age into older elderhood — the period when they dramatically slow down and require additional support — we often observe that a situation changes. Suddenly we notice, for the first time, that an activity that used to be easy — and often much-loved — becomes too difficult to accomplish. When … Continue reading
Five Challenges to the Elusive Goal of Aging in Place
I’ve met many older adults who want to age in place, but for many individuals it is difficult to stay in their homes. In the best situations, either the elder or a family member is able to monitor the situation, assuring that everything is in order and making changes as necessary. Designing and carrying out realistic … Continue reading
When an Elderly Parent Is Unable to Learn New Things but Still Wants to Do Them
What can you do and say when elderly, and extremely fragile parents try to do things that are simply too difficult? Many adult children who support elderly parents arrive at a point when their fragile parents function pretty well with the activities of daily living (ADLs) yet possess less and less of the cognitive energy that’s required … Continue reading
Grandparents Helping With Grandchildren
My husband and I spend a fair amount of time, usually more than one day each week, helping my elderly parents in various ways. However, for several days every other month, we take time off from supporting the elder generation and focus our energy on the young adult members of my family and their son … Continue reading
Decreasing Hospital Noise for Patients
One of the first things that people observe when they visit someone in the hospital is the incredible amount of noise. Doors, hallway carts, people, voices, gurneys, and monitor alarms — noise that goes on all day long and around the clock. If your aging parent is hospitalized, it is critical to pay attention to … Continue reading
Funerals: Taking Over from Elderly Parents
When parents live into their 90s, they are very much alive as they observe, with deep sadness, the many friends and family members who pass on ahead of them. Moreover, there comes a time in the aging adult caregiving process when elderly parents can no longer travel, so an adult child takes over the responsibility of connecting … Continue reading
More on Music & Memory Loss
I’ve just finished an article that describes a celebratory Independence Day musical activity for people with memory loss, held at Iona Senior Services in Washington, DC. This illustrates, once again, how familiar music appears to short circuit, at least temporarily, certain aspects of dementia, because the act of singing or listening to the music reconnects people to … Continue reading
A Device that Intervenes & Cushions an Elder’s Fall
The Tango Belt, a small inflatable belt, is an intervention that may make a huge difference for older adults who fall. When its electronic device detects movement that is out of the ordinary for an individual the Tango Belt fills up with air, preventing injury by padding the area around a person’s hips. The belt, … Continue reading
Hospital Induced Delirium: Be Concerned
If you are still not concerned about and prepared for the possibility of an older member of your family going to the hospital feeling confident and competent and leaving in a confused, befuddled, and yes, even deranged state, you need to read Harrowing Delirium Afflicts Millions After Surgery, Especially the Elderly. I Know. It Hit … Continue reading
5 Interesting Facts About the Brain
How does the brain work? Basic answers to this question and many others are available in a short article, Your Incredible Shrinking Cortex, published in Michigan Today, a publication of the University of Michigan (U-M). The article’s author, Claudia A. Capos, interviews Thad Polk, a U-M Professor of Psychology, about the brain and how … Continue reading
Boy Do We Ever Need More Geriatricians!
Finding a physician for an aging parent can present unexpected challenges. Some doctors do not take Medicare, others do not take new Medicare patients, however, they provide care to existing patients who age into Medicare. Sometimes a concierge practice will accept an older patient as long as a hefty yearly fee can be paid. Then … Continue reading
Needed: Smoke Detector Innovation
In this age of innovation and advanced digital communication, why haven’t smoke detectors become easier to place and maintain — especially those monitors in the homes of seniors. After all, as seniors age, the potential for falls increases and smoke detectors are always installed way up high on their home ceiling. Adequate smoke detecting devices … Continue reading
Why Hospitals Scare the Adult Children of Older Elders
After I my recent post on hospital induced delirium, people begin chatting with me, unsolicited, about their elderly parents’ hospital experiences. Admitting an aging parent to a hospital appears to instill significant anxiety and resignation in adult children. The spontaneous conversations usually focused on the ways that hospitals, despite commitment to good medical practices, cheerful … Continue reading
Funerals, Memorial Services, Cocktail Parties & Other Ways to Say Goodbye
I’ve attended two farewell cocktail parties in the past two years, both scheduled as a substitute for aging parent funerals. Another friend invited everyone to a ballgame to celebrate a parent’s life with a memorial picnic afterward. And most recently I attended an engaging theatre production to honor a deceased friend. While some of these … Continue reading
Can We PLEASE Stop Using the Word FACILITY? Redux
(An older post from 2015 that I’d like to share again.) On a daily basis I hear people use the word facility, and it’s almost always modified by the adjectives such as assisted living, nursing, and care. I’ll stand in the supermarket line and overhear a conversation between two people about moving a frail relative into a … Continue reading
If You Worry About Dementia in Any Way, Read Seven Steps to Managing Your Memory
My husband and I have now offered support and reassurance to four older parents with memory loss. While each individual has experienced some type of dementia, all at fairly advanced ages, each of their situations has been unique. Each time the assistance we offered to our parents depended upon putting together a fairly complex puzzle … Continue reading
Oh Shenandoah National Park, We Love to Visit You
Next summer my parents will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary. Newly married in 1949, they first visited the Shenandoah National Park during their honeymoon, and have since returned on their 40th, 50th, 60th, 65th anniversaries. We have the photos to prove it. My family members hope that we will all be able to help them … Continue reading
