When you decide to move you must also decide how your possessions will get from your old home to your new one. Some people I know have rented trucks. Others have sold much of their furniture and arrived in their new community ready to purchase new items. We decided, given the time constraints that we … Continue reading
Moving in Mid-retirement, Part II: The Challenging Decisions
When we returned home from our two-month dress rehearsal in early March we needed to accomplish a great deal. during the two months we had purchased a house that was to be our new home and expected it to be ready in mid-June. With about ten weeks to sell our house, pack up and move … Continue reading
Aging in Place: Plans May Be Possible… or Not
For as long as I can remember, my parents planned to age in place in their home. They made me promise to support them in this endeavor, and I did. They understood initially that some situations — severe illness or extreme memory problems, for instance — might require their plans to be changed. But as … Continue reading
In Mid-retirement We Moved to be Near Family: Part I
Two years ago I would not have thought it possible. A move after living for 38 years in one place? Probably not. Yet we aging boomers did it. For seven years we had been driving on a regular basis to visit our daughter, her husband, and her kids — our grandchildren. More than 500 miles … Continue reading
The Car, My Elderly Parents, and Me
After living happily in their retirement community for nearly fifteen years, my parents were declining. My dad’s memory was weak, and my mom fell frequently. In their nineties, they ate almost every meal in one of the cafes and gradually ceased to use the various gadgets in their lives —the dishwasher, the c-pap mask, the humidifier, etc. Using … Continue reading
Why I Disappeared from Blogging During My Parents Last Years of Life
Well, I thought that, given the support of my two parents throughout my years of blog writing on As Our Parents Age, I would keep writing until the end of their lives. However, it was not to be. I found that I wanted to protect them and help them live their last years in private. … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #27: Confusing Personal Freedom with Caring
So here we are in the middle of December 2020, nine months into the pandemic, with the United States still awash in CoVid-19. Those who care for others continue to stay home, social distance when not at home, plan trips outside the home carefully, wear masks, and probably pine away for the “olden days” when … Continue reading
The Photos and Paperwork That Document a Life
When the process of downsizing officially begins, attending to a life’s worth of possessions can take a long time. Decisions must be made about furniture, clothes, books, knick-nacks, household goods, vanity items, jewelry. Dealing with possessions, however, is the easy part. The most difficult time, at least from my perspective, comes near the end of … Continue reading
When the Parent With the Better Memory Dies First
My parents were married for 71 years. Over the past several years Dad experienced declining memory and mom declined physically. She helped him remember things (or remembered them for him), and Dad — even in his 90s he was still agile and quite strong — helped her move around, fetching things as needed so she … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #26: Connecting with Grandchildren!?
One of the joys of aging is the privilege of grandparenting. If one takes seriously the fundamental precept that engaging in healthy activities helps one age well, the opportunity to support children and grandchildren is right up there on the keeping-healthy scale. At first, way back last March, it did not seem like isolation would … Continue reading
It’s Not Worth Correcting Family Members With Weakening Memories
Forgetting is an everyday affair when dementia creeps into a family’s life. For adult children it presents a conversation conundrum. Speaking with fragile parents as they recall even more fragile memories can be frustrating and time consuming. Used to functioning as knowledgeable and independent individuals, people with memory challenges do not expect to be corrected. … Continue reading
Coronavirus Deaths – September 1, 2020
On the first of each month I am posting the number of deaths in my country, the United States. I hope my fellow bloggers will stongly consider taking this step so we do not forget the people lossed in this pandemic. 180,000 — people — dead from CoVid-10
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #25: Remember Polio?
Epidemics cause disruption. We know this now as we watch our Co-Vid 19 summer inch along ever so slowly. Few open pools, limits on playing with other people, very little socializing with friends and extended family, etc., etc. Outdoor is better than indoor, but how much better? And whether to have or open schools? Who … Continue reading
Watching My Mom Pass Away
We are neck deep in the CoVid-19 epidemic with social isolation, mask wearing, activity limits, and online lives that we could never have imagined a mere six months ago. Some people are fighting over masks and social distancing. Some of those individuals don’t even believe the virus is real. It is not a relaxed time … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #24: What 100,000 Deaths Look Like
Sometime during the 2020 Memorial Day weekend or immediately thereafter, the United States will reach a sorrowful milestone — 100,000 CoVid-19 deaths. The May 24, 2020, New York Times paper edition featured name ofter name of the dead, an image covering the entire front page. No headlines, no boxes, no articles, just names. The illustration … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #23: Seeing Elderly Parents Again — the Process Begins
How will assisted living communities, nursing homes, and retirement communities go about reopening while CoVid-19 is still around and infecting people? A May 18, 2020 Washington Post, Charting a Slow Path for Reopening, describes the conditions that the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) wants assisted living communities and nursing homes to follow to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #22: Should I Keep Saying “I Don’t Feel Safe?”
While living through this CoVid-19 isolation period I’ve found myself repeating the phrase “I don’t feel safe, so I …” at least a few times each week. I have not thought much about it until now. A few days ago at the grocery store on one of my efficient, list-generated, mask-wearing shopping trips, I overheard … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #21: Translating for Doctors During the Spanish Influenza!
This isn’t the first time people in the United States have worn masks to protect themselves during an epidemic. A month or two ago, as the incidence of CoVid-19 increased sharply, I wrote about my grandmother’s memories during the Spanish Influenza. I was delighted to find that remembrance, one among the eight reminiscences that Rachel Corbo … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #20: Not Wearing Masks Near a Caregiving Community??
It has been 80 days since I’ve seen my parents, and it’s frustrating. As an adult daughter, I want to offer support and help them remain in good spirits as they traverse the rough road of their fragile elderhood while simultaneously living through an international pandemic. Right now, though, just about the only things I … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #19: Missing Children and Grandchildren
Ask just about anyone my age to describe what is most difficult about this increasingly long period of CoVid-19 social distancing (63 days at my house), and just about everyone mentions their separation from adult children and grandchildren. And my friends with new babies in the family ache to reach out and touch them. It’s … Continue reading
As Our Parents Age So Do We 