Tonight we went back to volunteer at Chesterbrook Residences, the assisted living community where my husband’s mother spent her last two years. Our experience with this facility was stellar, and we both want to give something back because of how much support we received when Mother lived there, The two of us arrived in time … Continue reading
Filed under Caregiving …
New Old Age Blog – NY Times
Love the New Old Age blog at the New York Times. This July 1, 2008 New Old Age posting, Our Parents Ourselves by Jane Gross, sums up the perspective of aging children confronting the aging parent experience — anxiety, love, concern, frustration, respect, and more. So much to learn. So much to give back.
Questions to Ask Your Physician When Medicine is Prescribed
(from the “Caregivers’ Guide to Medications and Aging” document at Family Caregiving Alliance) I have made a MS Word document with these questions so I can easily jot down answers in the space next to the question. I’ve also color-coded the questions so that some are for the doctor and others are for the pharmacist. … Continue reading
Seniors, Exercise, and Preventing Falls
Once again a fall. This time it is a friend’s mother who fell, and today I heard that her mother’s health is continuing to decline. Senior falls are frustrating and sad, occurring frequently and causing physical problems, discomfort, outright pain, and unhappiness. Over the last four months I keep returning to the topic of seniors … Continue reading
Helplessness and Aging
Watching all four, now only two of our senior parents over the past ten years, I’ve been intrigued that a certain amount of helplessness seems to surface when they encounter the medical system. When a person becomes ill or develops a chronic condition, the medical world usually goes into high gear. This is especially true … Continue reading
Caregivers: Looking Back, Giving Back
We were fortunate to have people and places who helped us care for my husband’s mother. During the last year of mother’s life, things were intense, and sometimes we wished that we could be taken care of, too. Choosing to help with mother’s care and to have her near us, especially before she needed substantial … Continue reading
The End of Mother’s Life
We were not able to follow through with the hairdresser, though we know that Mother would have loved it, even so close to the end of her life. Raymond was a master at making her feel good. Early on Monday morning mother died, perhaps from the dementia, but more proximally from congestive heart failure. She … Continue reading
Dementia: The Hair Salon
Several weeks ago, my mother-in-law stopped going to the hairdresser. She and her caregiver had been walking down to the small salon at her assisted living facility once a week. Then one day she got up and after being dressed did not want to go. Or maybe she did not understand or we did not … Continue reading
Dementia: More Unlearning
Over the past several days a number of dramatic changes have occurred in Mother’s condition. Three days ago she could suck on a straw, the preferred way of taking in a fair amount of liquids and especially protein milk shakes. And then two days ago she could no longer use a straw. Last week she … Continue reading
Dementia: Mother’s Continuing Decline
During the week between Christmas and New Year’s mother’ decline has accelerated. We realized a day or so before Christmas that our plans to bring her to our house were overly optimistic. She simply did not have the wherewithal to move, eat, climb the few steps or even stay awake for very long. She began … Continue reading
The Hospital Bed
For the past several weeks, Mother’s breathing has grown shallower and faster, and she can’t catch her breath. I am told this is called “air hunger.” Her heart is racing, and it is difficult for her to rest lying down. Mother uses oxygen continuously, and she continues to be severely disoriented. So today hospice arranged … Continue reading
Late State Dementia: Concentration
By the time a person reaches late stage dementia, concentration disappears. Mother’s ability to concentrate is mostly gone. A fleeting memory, a song listened to, a story read, a much enjoyed TV news show broadcast — not one of these activities can be completed. We can start any of them and for a minute the … Continue reading
Dementia: Losing the Ability to Move?
Mother can no longer move on her own, though she can still shuffle when we hold on to her. If she tries too get up on her own early in the morning or when we are momentarily glancing away, she falls. Her shuffles continue to grow tinier, and her balance is non-existent. It looks like … Continue reading
Communicating: Respect No Matter What the State-of-Mind
I’ve noticed that people at Mother’s assisted living facility, as well as many of the other people who see her daily, are respectful of her limited communication skills and try to work around her dementia disorientation. At her assisted living facility staff members always take a few moments after they enter the apartment, addressing her … Continue reading
Caregiving and Snow Storms
Our area is in the middle of a huge snow storm. As we anticipated the storm, my husband and I worried about how we would coordinate Mother’s care. Our area tends to come to a standstill when it snows, and this storm is much larger than any other December snowstorm in the past 20 years. … Continue reading
ADL’s and IADL’s: What’s the Difference?
Links to other postings about ADL’s are at the bottom. In an earlier post I was not as accurate as I should have been about activities of daily living. The functional tasks in the daily lives of older seniors are divided into two parts, activities of daily living (ADL’s) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADL’s).
Dementia: Caregivers
Committed caregivers make the dementia experience tolerable, and tolerable is about the best we can feel as we live through this terrible disease. My husband and I are caregivers to his mother, but we also have strong, warm, and compassionate caregivers who spend much of the day with her. These women are making our experience … Continue reading
Dementia: Mobility, Falling, and Perception
This morning mother fell. Until now she has stayed in bed until one of the nursing assistants arrives to help her get up and get dressed. Today it was a different story — for the first time she tried to get out of bed. The nursing assistant found mother on the floor in the living room a bit … Continue reading
Dementia: Life in Reverse
Mother’s dementia is progressing. I’ve mentioned in other posts, that she needs a caregiver all of the time, except when she is sleeping (she sleeps soundly). She is almost always confused, asking many times a day, “What should I do?” I find myself searching the web for confirmation of what I see each day. Today … Continue reading
Senior Medicare Patients Return to the Hospital After Discharge
HEALTH in NY TIMES | December 08, 2009 Groups Try Simple Steps to Avoid Hospital Rebound By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS WASHINGTON (AP) — Talk about unnecessary misery: One in five Medicare patients winds up back in the hospital within a month — even worse, one in four patients with heart failure. Read more @ … Continue reading
As Our Parents Age So Do We 