For as long as I can remember, my parents planned to age in place in their home. They made me promise to support them in this endeavor, and I did. They understood initially that some situations — severe illness or extreme memory problems, for instance — might require their plans to be changed. But as … Continue reading
Tagged with aging parents …
Why I Disappeared from Blogging During My Parents Last Years of Life
Well, I thought that, given the support of my two parents throughout my years of blog writing on As Our Parents Age, I would keep writing until the end of their lives. However, it was not to be. I found that I wanted to protect them and help them live their last years in private. … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #23: Seeing Elderly Parents Again — the Process Begins
How will assisted living communities, nursing homes, and retirement communities go about reopening while CoVid-19 is still around and infecting people? A May 18, 2020 Washington Post, Charting a Slow Path for Reopening, describes the conditions that the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) wants assisted living communities and nursing homes to follow to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #16 — Worries
Today is the 45th day that my husband and I have been in our home, social distancing, leaving only for daily walks and trips to the grocery store every six or seven days. Just about every day, for a short period, I feel overwhelmed by my worries — worries unique to this crazy time of … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #8: Running Errands
Social distancing is hard enough, but so are the steps required to go out and do something and come home again. Each day I spend most of the time at home, with the exception of my daily walk and occasional errands to the grocery store. I have a pretty detailed routine that I go through … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #4: So What Does Social Distancing Accomplish?
Note: Sharing the image below may help people make better decisions. “Why,” my mom asked, “do we need to do this?” She was asking why she cannot have visitors and why my husband and I are for the most part staying in our home and aiming to go to the grocery store no more than … Continue reading
Aphasia: A Frustrating Development
Aphasia has got to be one of the most frustrating conditions that can occur during late-in-life aging. The condition, which has occurred in two of the elderly parents in my family, is a speech expression disorder that makes speaking and interacting with others nearly impossible and is a result of brain damage. In my family … Continue reading
When You’re Tired & Overwhelmed — but Still Grateful
Gratitude really does make a difference. Some days are tough for this adult child, even though I am not a direct caregiver for my elderly parents. The amazing assisted living staff and an incredible caregiver, who visits two or three times each week, provide the bulk of the support. Yet, there is still so much … Continue reading
The “Firsts” that Mean Your Aging Parent Grows More Fragile
As we watch our parents age into older elderhood — the period when they dramatically slow down and require additional support — we often observe that a situation changes. Suddenly we notice, for the first time, that an activity that used to be easy — and often much-loved — becomes too difficult to accomplish. When … Continue reading
When an Elderly Parent Is Unable to Learn New Things but Still Wants to Do Them
What can you do and say when elderly, and extremely fragile parents try to do things that are simply too difficult? Many adult children who support elderly parents arrive at a point when their fragile parents function pretty well with the activities of daily living (ADLs) yet possess less and less of the cognitive energy that’s required … Continue reading
Decreasing Hospital Noise for Patients
One of the first things that people observe when they visit someone in the hospital is the incredible amount of noise. Doors, hallway carts, people, voices, gurneys, and monitor alarms — noise that goes on all day long and around the clock. If your aging parent is hospitalized, it is critical to pay attention to … Continue reading
A Device that Intervenes & Cushions an Elder’s Fall
The Tango Belt, a small inflatable belt, is an intervention that may make a huge difference for older adults who fall. When its electronic device detects movement that is out of the ordinary for an individual the Tango Belt fills up with air, preventing injury by padding the area around a person’s hips. The belt, … Continue reading
Boy Do We Ever Need More Geriatricians!
Finding a physician for an aging parent can present unexpected challenges. Some doctors do not take Medicare, others do not take new Medicare patients, however, they provide care to existing patients who age into Medicare. Sometimes a concierge practice will accept an older patient as long as a hefty yearly fee can be paid. Then … Continue reading
Oh Shenandoah National Park, We Love to Visit You
Next summer my parents will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary. Newly married in 1949, they first visited the Shenandoah National Park during their honeymoon, and have since returned on their 40th, 50th, 60th, 65th anniversaries. We have the photos to prove it. My family members hope that we will all be able to help them … Continue reading
The Increasing Cost of Assisted Living
An interesting article, Why Aging Middle-class People Can’t Afford Assisted Living, recently appeared at Philly.com, the online site of the Philadelphia Inquirer. Writer Stacey Burling describes research published by the University of Chicago’s National Opinion Research Center (NORC), a project that examined the future challenges of paying for the costs of assisted living, especially for … Continue reading
On Caregiving & Considering My Own Late Years of Life
Every time I chat with my friends and colleagues who are helping parents navigate through their older elderhood years, one person or another inevitably makes a comment about how easy it is and yes, a bit nerve-wracking, to picture being in the same fragile position as their parents. No one disputes that we all age. … Continue reading
Tony Bennett, Lady Gaga, and the Miracle of Music
We were driving home from a delightful lunch at a Thai restaurant — my husband, me, and my mother and dad. In one of those quirks of the digital age, my iPhone connected with the car’s bluetooth function, and suddenly the car was filled with music. We all hummed along and smiled as Tony Bennett … Continue reading
Sometimes an Article About Elder Abuse Is Just Plain Horrifying…
If you are supporting elder parents or expect to be involved with their assistance in the future, take some time to read the New Yorker article, How the Elderly Lose Their Rights. The long story, by Rachel Aviv, describes the abuses that can occur when unscrupulous people seek the guardianship of elders. It focuses on … Continue reading
Plan to Help Elderly Parents Set Up Electronic Medical Records
If you assist or provide support for an older elder in your family, check to see whether you need to help out with that individual’s electronic medical records (EMRs). You may have routinely set up your own EMRs without much thought, but many elder adults have not established or have had difficulty establishing their accounts. … Continue reading
You Can’t Parent Your Parent — No Matter What
I just read a touching 2013 column about supporting elderly parents, written by Washington Post columnist, Cortland Milloy. In his column Milloy addresses the notion, so prevalent these days, that many of us are “parenting our parents.” I’ll let you read the column for yourself, but I have some firm issues when it comes to … Continue reading
As Our Parents Age So Do We 