We were fortunate to have people and places who helped us care for my husband’s mother. During the last year of mother’s life, things were intense, and sometimes we wished that we could be taken care of, too. Choosing to help with mother’s care and to have her near us, especially before she needed substantial … Continue reading
Tagged with aging_parents …
Making Our House Safer: For Aging Parents and For Ourselves
My husband and I keep hearing about people who fall inside their homes, some of them older seniors and some in our age range (50’s – 60’s). Most people trip over an area rug or lose their balance in the bathroom or on steps. Check out this online PowerPoint lecture at the University of Pittsburgh Supercourse … Continue reading
After Death Details, Part III: Mother’s Library
In her assisted living apartment mother lived with her well-loved library of books. Though she parted with many possessions and books when she moved from her larger South Carolina condo into a smaller assisted living space, her most prized volumes traveled with her to Northern Virginia. We chose more than a few to keep since … Continue reading
Dementia: Mother’s Continuing Decline
During the week between Christmas and New Year’s mother’ decline has accelerated. We realized a day or so before Christmas that our plans to bring her to our house were overly optimistic. She simply did not have the wherewithal to move, eat, climb the few steps or even stay awake for very long. She began … Continue reading
The Hospital Bed
For the past several weeks, Mother’s breathing has grown shallower and faster, and she can’t catch her breath. I am told this is called “air hunger.” Her heart is racing, and it is difficult for her to rest lying down. Mother uses oxygen continuously, and she continues to be severely disoriented. So today hospice arranged … Continue reading
How My Parents Selected a Retirement Community
My parents have moved through three or four retirement periods. At any given time, it seemed like one of them had a retirement job of some type, and my father, until a couple of years ago, accepted regular “fill-in” church assignments, helping out a church for a week or two here and there. They have … Continue reading
Dementia: Losing the Ability to Move?
Mother can no longer move on her own, though she can still shuffle when we hold on to her. If she tries too get up on her own early in the morning or when we are momentarily glancing away, she falls. Her shuffles continue to grow tinier, and her balance is non-existent. It looks like … Continue reading
Senior Citizens and End-of-Year Giving
Help aging parents be excited about technology and to use it, but also counsel them to be skeptical, savvy, and ask questions. It is the time of year when many scammers make telephone calls or send e-mails asking for contributions to charity. I have a rule. Unless it is my college or one of the … Continue reading
Communicating: Respect No Matter What the State-of-Mind
I’ve noticed that people at Mother’s assisted living facility, as well as many of the other people who see her daily, are respectful of her limited communication skills and try to work around her dementia disorientation. At her assisted living facility staff members always take a few moments after they enter the apartment, addressing her … Continue reading
Caregiving and Snow Storms
Our area is in the middle of a huge snow storm. As we anticipated the storm, my husband and I worried about how we would coordinate Mother’s care. Our area tends to come to a standstill when it snows, and this storm is much larger than any other December snowstorm in the past 20 years. … Continue reading
Parent Legacies: Modeling Philanthropy
Charitable giving has always been important in my family.The time and energy that my parents, now in their mid-80’s and starting their 61st year of marriage, spent on service to others has, I believe, has contributed not only to their rich lives, but also to their good health. I cannot remember a time when I … Continue reading
ADL’s and IADL’s: What’s the Difference?
Links to other postings about ADL’s are at the bottom. In an earlier post I was not as accurate as I should have been about activities of daily living. The functional tasks in the daily lives of older seniors are divided into two parts, activities of daily living (ADL’s) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADL’s).
Dementia: Caregivers
Committed caregivers make the dementia experience tolerable, and tolerable is about the best we can feel as we live through this terrible disease. My husband and I are caregivers to his mother, but we also have strong, warm, and compassionate caregivers who spend much of the day with her. These women are making our experience … Continue reading
Dementia: Mobility, Falling, and Perception
This morning mother fell. Until now she has stayed in bed until one of the nursing assistants arrives to help her get up and get dressed. Today it was a different story — for the first time she tried to get out of bed. The nursing assistant found mother on the floor in the living room a bit … Continue reading
Seniors: Avoid Online Fraud
All of us, no matter what our ages, need to take care when we buy things online. There is so much to learn about the online world, and deceptive or fraudulent practices take advantage of any gap in our knowledge. When you read the rest of this post about deceptive practices related to online purchasing, … Continue reading
Journaling Legacies
For as long as I can remember my father has kept a journal. I have memories, even from earliest childhood, of dad taking a few minutes to record his thoughts. It did not seem to matter where we were — at home, on a vacation, at the park, or attending one of his many conferences … Continue reading
Dementia: Life in Reverse
Mother’s dementia is progressing. I’ve mentioned in other posts, that she needs a caregiver all of the time, except when she is sleeping (she sleeps soundly). She is almost always confused, asking many times a day, “What should I do?” I find myself searching the web for confirmation of what I see each day. Today … Continue reading
Senior Medicare Patients Return to the Hospital After Discharge
HEALTH in NY TIMES | December 08, 2009 Groups Try Simple Steps to Avoid Hospital Rebound By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS WASHINGTON (AP) — Talk about unnecessary misery: One in five Medicare patients winds up back in the hospital within a month — even worse, one in four patients with heart failure. Read more @ … Continue reading
Parent Legacies
I’ve been thinking a lot about legacies — those intangible gifts that my parents are handing down to me. As I watch my parents get older, and when big and small health issues occur, I wonder what my life will be like without them. I don’t worry about helping them in these next few years, … Continue reading
Dementia Music Therapy: Broadway Songs
Mother Weston’s New York trips were legendary. Each trip included a balance of shopping, museum visits, plays, and Broadway musicals. From the early 1950’s until the mid 1980’s she and father made at least one and sometimes two trips to NYC each year usually for more than a week. Her love of Broadway musicals continued … Continue reading
As Our Parents Age So Do We 