Filed under Coordinating All of Our Lives

Caregivers: Looking Back, Giving Back

We were fortunate to have people and places who helped us care for my husband’s mother. During the last year of mother’s life, things were intense, and sometimes we wished that we could be taken care of, too. Choosing to help with mother’s care and to have her near us, especially before she needed substantial … Continue reading

Overcompensating After a Parent Dies

We are now in the second week after the death of my husband’s mother. The two of us are taking it easy and accomplishing the most important tasks. Also, we are breathing a bit easier because Mother is no longer in such extreme discomfort. The last few weeks were tough for her. However, I’ve noticed … Continue reading

After Death Details, Part I: Grief

Grief … It has been a week since my husband’s mother died. We miss her, though we are glad she is not in the extreme discomfort that she experienced at the end. We’ve laughed and we’ve cried, more of the former, because she lived a long and rich life. Saying goodbye takes time. Photograph albums … Continue reading

Parent Legacies: Modeling Philanthropy

Charitable giving has always been important in my family.The time and energy that my parents, now in their mid-80’s and starting their 61st year of marriage, spent on service to others has, I believe, has contributed not only to their rich lives, but also to their good health. I cannot remember a time when I … Continue reading

ADL’s and IADL’s: What’s the Difference?

Links to other postings about ADL’s are at the bottom. In an earlier post I was not as accurate as I should have been about activities of daily living. The functional tasks in the daily lives of older seniors are divided into two parts, activities of daily living (ADL’s) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADL’s).

Dementia: Caregivers

Committed caregivers make the dementia experience tolerable, and tolerable is about the best we can feel as we live through this terrible disease. My husband and I are caregivers to his mother, but we also have strong, warm, and compassionate caregivers who spend much of the day with her. These women are making our experience … Continue reading

Seniors: Avoid Online Fraud

All of us, no matter what our ages, need to take care when we buy things online.  There is so much to learn about the  online world, and deceptive or fraudulent practices take advantage of any gap in our knowledge. When you read the rest of this post about deceptive practices related to online purchasing, … Continue reading


With three senior parents I am thinking a lot about holidays — past and future — how wonderful they can be and how to celebrate without a lot of brouhaha.  I am concentrating on making each holiday, in this case Thanksgiving, special but also as simple as possible.  This year we’ve navigated lots of health … Continue reading

Stages of Dementia, Part II

Keep in mind that these stages are general guidelines that help people understand dementia’s progression, and that some professionals do  not use them as disease guideposts. I am applying them to the dementia that is occurring in my family. Another family may not have anywhere near the same experience. By the time stage five of … Continue reading

Stages of Dementia – Part I

When you read about dementia you learn that the disease presents itself in stages. The literature seems to describe six stages, seven if you think of stage one as the “normal” range in which most of us function. I am reconstructing these stages, attempting to understand the progression of the disease in our family. In … Continue reading

Going to the Emergency Room/Hospital With an Elder Parent

With all of our national health problems and the extreme  burdens on hospital emergency departments, when very old senior citizens visit they require special care.  Their bodies, attention spans, and fearfulness cause extreme disorientation after a short time in an emergency facility. Disorientation occurs quickly.  I’ve now observed this several times now with several parents. … Continue reading

The Parenting Circle

First we are born and most of us are lucky enough to be an immediate part of a family, taken care of and loved by our parents. They support us, encourage us, model for us, confuse us, drive us crazy sometimes, and in general help us figure out how to grow up.  The process can … Continue reading