When parents live into their 90s, they are very much alive as they observe, with deep sadness, the many friends and family members who pass on ahead of them. Moreover, there comes a time in the aging adult caregiving process when elderly parents can no longer travel, so an adult child takes over the responsibility of connecting … Continue reading
Tagged with dying …
Famed Clinicians: Prepared but Not Ready for Death
When we think about dying, about the end of our lives, we may look to the experts for guidance — to those people who have long experience with various aspects of aging and the medical issues that complicate the process of dying. We assume that these people have their own end of life details all worked … Continue reading
Why is Hospice Still A Tough Call–Even for People Who Know?
When a person is approaching the end of life, we can find no easy answers, no solution that fits every person’s or family’s situation, even when they know a lot about the options available to them. To illustrate this you will want to read For Hospice Pioneer, Still a Tough Call, by Paula Span at … Continue reading
Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Dementia
Adult children and their parents who are inveterate readers of fiction, especially prize-winning fiction, may want to read two posts at VOXXI (Hispanic Voice of the 21st Century) about Gabriel Garcia Marquez. The two posts are related and inter-connected, examining the tragedy of a great Nobel prize-winning writer who begins to suffer from memory problems, … Continue reading
Longer Old Age but Lower Quality Near the End?
A few days ago I added a must read link to Michael Wolff’s New York Magazine article, A Life Worth Ending. It’s an eye-opening piece, detailing long drawn-out decline of his mother. Check it out — it really is a must read. For our parents there are no easy end-of-life answers. Those of us with … Continue reading
Our Chance of Dying in Intensive Care – Peter Saul TED Talk
Australian intensive care physician, Peter Saul, recently presented a TED Talk about the increased chance of dying in intensive care in the 21st Century. He explains that one ten people will die in intensive care, but in the United States it is one in five and in Miami, three out of five. People who are … Continue reading
Check out the “Be the Noodle” Review
While I was intently focused on my Green House posts last week, Inside Aging Parent Care posted a terrific review of Be TheNoodle by Lois Kelly. What I love about this book is the noodle support metaphor. When the summer waters are rough in my beloved St. Lawrence River, a noodle is just the ticket … Continue reading
Losing Adult Friends: In Memoriam
Part of growing into the role of adult child is understanding that life, with all its excitement, adventure, and power, is tenuous and eventually ends. I have no fear and do not spend much time thinking about this, but as one loses parents and starts moving toward the a role in the senior generation, these … Continue reading
Hospice: More Days to Say “We Love You”
Thank you hospice. Since reading Dr. Atul Gwande’s New Yorker Magazine article, Letting Go, a piece that describes the end of life (see my recent posting about this article), I’ve been thinking a lot about our hospice experience with a program in Northern Virginia. For some time I’ve wanted to write about those four months, … Continue reading
End-of-Life Decisions: Article by Dr. Atul Gawande
Dr. Atul Gawande has done it again — writing another compelling and riveting article that everyone will be talking about in the coming weeks. It can be downloaded at The New Yorker website. In Letting Go, published in the August 2, 2010, issue of The New Yorker Magazine, he examines how people make end-of-life decisions and how … Continue reading
End-of-Life: Another Form!
In the July 18, 2010 New Old Age Blog Paula Span reports on yet another form we need to fill out if we want the most control at the end of our lives. Her article, A Final Prescription describes the POLST form, though the name may be different from state-to-state. A individual completes this form … Continue reading
Late-Stage Dementia, Hospitals, and Feeding Tubes
A professor at the Brown University Medical School was the lead author on a recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), Hospital Characteristics Associated With Feeding Tube Placement in Nursing Home Residents With Advanced Dementia (abstract). Joan M. Teno, MD, used Medicare data from 2000 to 2007 to evaluate how … Continue reading
After a Parent’s Death: Paying Bills
Four months after Mother died her bills have continued to arrive. While we were prepared to pay her final utility bills as well as the end-of-life and memorial service costs, it felt a bit strange to receive so many others, and doubly so more than four months after her death. Yet all of the bills … Continue reading
End of Life Decisions
My post, Aging Parents: Research on End-of-Life Decisions, discussed the University of Michigan study that evaluated how a person’s end-of-life decisions are taken into consideration by hospitals and medical personnel. Pauline Chen, MD, in her regular New York Times column, also wrote about this research, sharing a personal story about her father-in-law’s death. The article … Continue reading
Google Search Suggestions Support Suicide Prevention
Google Gets It … According to the New York Times, when a person searches with terms that could indicate suicidal thoughts, Google results will automatically include suggestions about suicide prevention, including a hotline telephone number. This policy, thought it cannot respond to every potential end-of-life search term, may make the difference in helping a person … Continue reading
Aging Parents: Research on End-of-Life Decisions
Researchers at the University of Michigan have published Advance Directives and Outcomes of Surrogate Decision Making Before Death (abstract link) in the April 1, 2010, issue of the New England Journal of Medicine. The study included 3,746 participants and focused on their end-of-life decisions between 2000 and 2006. Another article about the end-of-life research is at … Continue reading
Aging Parents: Death from Falls, Part I
With aging parents on my mind a lot these days, I am extra clued into sickness, decline, and factors that contribute to the end of an elderly person’s life. Frequently I ask two questions. Why do falls have such a strong association with the death of people over age 65, and why isn’t prevention more … Continue reading
Writing a Parent’s Remembrance, Part II
Other Posts Relating to Remembrances: After a Parent’s Death: Writing a Remembrance, Part II, After an Aging Parent’s Death: Obituaries and Remembrances, Mother’s Memorial Service We write remembrances after a loved one dies. Written memorials or tributes, usually penned by family members, are used in committal or memorial services or simply shared in conversation. … Continue reading
Writing a Parent’s Remembrance, Part I
Other Posts Relating to Remembrances: After a Parent’s Death: Writing a Remembrance, Part II, After an Aging Parent’s Death: Obituaries and Remembrances, Mother’s Memorial Service When an elderly parent accumulates serious medical diagnoses, becomes weaker, and is sick more often than not, set aside time to review memories and talk about life. Engage in … Continue reading
Aging Parents: A Conversation About Dying with Dad
It seems like a lot of elderly people we know — all in mid-80’s or older — are dying or have died recently. My parents, also in their 80’s, are doing well. Yet each time I share information about a relative with my parents I ask the question, “Should I be talking about this?” Usually … Continue reading
As Our Parents Age So Do We 