As a lifelong educator, I tend to consider challenges, be they learning or life-related, by observing the developmental stages that people pass through. When I think about family issues, learning problems, unusual challenges, or ongoing predicaments I deconstruct the steps needed to address an issue, learn about it, and, if necessary develop coping skills. Most … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #11, FaceTiming With My Parents — Thanks, VMRC!
For twelve days I have walked around worrying about my parents, no matter what else I am doing. Oh, I am not worried about their assisted living community or how it is run. It’s as good as it gets when it comes to caring, respect, and attention to needs. And epidemiology wise, the staff is … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #10: Why Are We Still Doing This When It Doesn’t Seem to Change Anything?
So why are we still social distancing and staying home? I have heard people ask this question several times in the past few days as we have neared and then passed 10 days of remaining in our houses. And why is the case-count still going up after those 10 days? Also, how come we have … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #9: Missing My Parents
I miss my parents so much. It’s been almost two weeks — two long weeks since their assisted living community was closed to visitors. I’ve met half-a-dozen other adult children whose parents are in similar situations. I know they are well taken care of, and I know that the staff is doing everything possible to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #8: Running Errands
Social distancing is hard enough, but so are the steps required to go out and do something and come home again. Each day I spend most of the time at home, with the exception of my daily walk and occasional errands to the grocery store. I have a pretty detailed routine that I go through … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #7: Bill Gates Predicted this Pandemic for Over Ten Years
I keep meeting people who are surprised about the CoVid-19 pandemic and the social distancing strategies required to help mitigate the spread of the coronavirus. This is an especially common musing among adult children caregivers whose elderly parents are now isolated and without any visitors as assisted living and long term care communities try to … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #6: Accessing the Free Operas at the Met
If you are like me you were excited to learn that the Metropolitan Opera is posting past productions to live stream. during the early weeks of social distancing for CoVid-19. Many of the operatic productions were first shown at the Met’s Live in HD move theatre program. Now they are coming into our homes, and … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #5: My Grandmother & Church Caregiving During the 1918 Influenza
I was so grateful yesterday as I attended a remote worship service broadcast from my church, Rock Spring United Chruch of Christ. This was caregiving at its best, during bringing light and hope to our CoVid-19 social distancing days. Given the number of people who attended our service and the many others around the country, … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #4: So What Does Social Distancing Accomplish?
Note: Sharing the image below may help people make better decisions. “Why,” my mom asked, “do we need to do this?” She was asking why she cannot have visitors and why my husband and I are for the most part staying in our home and aiming to go to the grocery store no more than … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #3: Staying Connected With My Parents
My parents live about 100 miles away from my home, and their assisted living community is locked down and not permitting visitors. The goal is to keep the CoVid-19 away from the residents as much as possible. I feel nothing by gratitude for the kindness and dedication of the staff. Preventive care at its best.
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #2: We Are All Caregivers
In this time of the novel Coronavirus, caregiving takes on a new context. Now it’s not just our aging parents or our children. Instead, we are all becoming caregivers to one another. In the CoVid-19 crisis, we are discovering that what we do as individuals has an effect on everyone and everything else — though … Continue reading
Caregiving in the Time of CoVid-19, #1: When Assisted Living Closes to Visitors
If you have elderly parents in their 80s or 90s, you are most likely worried about how they will weather the pandemic. As an adult child, I am definitely worried. I am pleased to share that the assisted living community where my parents reside has decided to limit visitors, including family members. While it will … Continue reading
What to Do With Family Pictures, Documents, Journals & More?
I am spending an enormous amount of time going through scrapbooks, photo albums, slide boxes, certificates, and much more. I’ve been away from this blog for a couple of months, focusing all my extra time on these boxes and boxes of family records. How does one decide what to keep (and what to toss)? I … Continue reading
Aphasia: A Frustrating Development
Aphasia has got to be one of the most frustrating conditions that can occur during late-in-life aging. The condition, which has occurred in two of the elderly parents in my family, is a speech expression disorder that makes speaking and interacting with others nearly impossible and is a result of brain damage. In my family … Continue reading
An Epidemic of ImmobilityAfter Elders Are Hospitalized
The last time my elderly father was in the hospital he was attached to an IV and heart monitor, and an alarm attached to his bed. Though he has rarely experienced a fall — throughout his whole life — Dad was considered a fall risk and told that he could not get out of bed … Continue reading
When You’re Tired & Overwhelmed — but Still Grateful
Gratitude really does make a difference. Some days are tough for this adult child, even though I am not a direct caregiver for my elderly parents. The amazing assisted living staff and an incredible caregiver, who visits two or three times each week, provide the bulk of the support. Yet, there is still so much … Continue reading
When an Aging Parent Cannot Use Calendar as a Daily Organizational Tool
A development that an adult child may observe in an elderly parent is the time when the calendar becomes less and less significant and managing time and appointments becomes more difficult. I can remember visiting my husband’s mother and mentioning that it was a Saturday morning. “Saturday?” she exclaimed. A friend told me how she … Continue reading
The “Firsts” that Mean Your Aging Parent Grows More Fragile
As we watch our parents age into older elderhood — the period when they dramatically slow down and require additional support — we often observe that a situation changes. Suddenly we notice, for the first time, that an activity that used to be easy — and often much-loved — becomes too difficult to accomplish. When … Continue reading
Five Challenges to the Elusive Goal of Aging in Place
I’ve met many older adults who want to age in place, but for many individuals it is difficult to stay in their homes. In the best situations, either the elder or a family member is able to monitor the situation, assuring that everything is in order and making changes as necessary. Designing and carrying out realistic … Continue reading
When an Elderly Parent Is Unable to Learn New Things but Still Wants to Do Them
What can you do and say when elderly, and extremely fragile parents try to do things that are simply too difficult? Many adult children who support elderly parents arrive at a point when their fragile parents function pretty well with the activities of daily living (ADLs) yet possess less and less of the cognitive energy that’s required … Continue reading
As Our Parents Age 