When a person is approaching the end of life, we can find no easy answers, no solution that fits every person’s or family’s situation, even when they know a lot about the options available to them. To illustrate this you will want to read For Hospice Pioneer, Still a Tough Call, by Paula Span at … Continue reading
Filed under bereavement …
The Spirit Catches You: Medical and Cultural Misperceptions
For several months I’ve listed Anne Fadiman’s book, The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, as my current read. While the story describes a struggle between a refugee Hmong family with a sick child and the medical world, the book, with its emphasis on cultural assumptions and misperceptions, is well worth the attention of … Continue reading
What it Takes to Write Good Remembrance
Late in 2009, soon after I began writing this blog, my husband’s mother was dying, and we were making lots of notes about her long life. Before we sat down to write a remembrance, however, we looked around on the web for ideas, hoping to find some examples to read. Not much was available. There were … Continue reading
Read More on Green House® Homes
I’ve just read the post, Two New Green House Stories, over at Allen Power’s blog. His post tells a story that illustrates how Green House® “at home” expectations and environment make an enormous qualitative difference for an aging senior. And be sure to read far enough along to get to the mattress anecdote — it ‘s a hoot. … Continue reading
Eleanor Clift Writes About Hospice
Journalist Eleanor Clift has written a superb article in the August 2011 publication Health Affairs about the hospice experience of her husband, journalist Tony Brazaitis, in the months before he died of cancer. It’s freely available and filled with astute observations and information — a good read for anyone, but especially for families who may have to … Continue reading
Jane Gross Interview: “On Being” Radio Program
For some time now I’ve listed Jane Gross’ book, A Bittersweet Season: Caring for Our Aging Parents — and Ourselves, as my current read, even though I finished reading it two months ago. I’ve kept the book posted because it is a compelling and real-life description of what it takes — the agony, challenge, love, collaboration, and … Continue reading
Losing Adult Friends: In Memoriam
Part of growing into the role of adult child is understanding that life, with all its excitement, adventure, and power, is tenuous and eventually ends. I have no fear and do not spend much time thinking about this, but as one loses parents and starts moving toward the a role in the senior generation, these … Continue reading
Hospice: More Days to Say “We Love You”
Thank you hospice. Since reading Dr. Atul Gwande’s New Yorker Magazine article, Letting Go, a piece that describes the end of life (see my recent posting about this article), I’ve been thinking a lot about our hospice experience with a program in Northern Virginia. For some time I’ve wanted to write about those four months, … Continue reading
End-of-Life Decisions: Article by Dr. Atul Gawande
Dr. Atul Gawande has done it again — writing another compelling and riveting article that everyone will be talking about in the coming weeks. It can be downloaded at The New Yorker website. In Letting Go, published in the August 2, 2010, issue of The New Yorker Magazine, he examines how people make end-of-life decisions and how … Continue reading
End-of-Life and Pacemakers that Keep on Going
If you are not a regular reader of the New York Times, use this link to go to What Broke My Father’s Heart, by Katie Butler, published in the June 14, 2010, NY Times Magazine. Butler writes about the enormous difficulties her family encountered after a pacemaker was inserted into her father’s chest despite that he had … Continue reading
After a Parent’s Death: Paying Bills
Four months after Mother died her bills have continued to arrive. While we were prepared to pay her final utility bills as well as the end-of-life and memorial service costs, it felt a bit strange to receive so many others, and doubly so more than four months after her death. Yet all of the bills … Continue reading
Aging Parents: Lengthy and Possibly Arduous Caregiving
Take a few minutes to read Long Goodbye of the Elderly Can Create Crisis for Family Caregivers in the April 6, 2010 Washington Post Health section. Abigail Trafford describes what we experienced during three years of aging parent caregiving. She writes, “The long goodbye is a predictable chapter in our lives. Giving care — and receiving … Continue reading
Google Search Suggestions Support Suicide Prevention
Google Gets It … According to the New York Times, when a person searches with terms that could indicate suicidal thoughts, Google results will automatically include suggestions about suicide prevention, including a hotline telephone number. This policy, thought it cannot respond to every potential end-of-life search term, may make the difference in helping a person … Continue reading
Writing a Parent’s Remembrance, Part II
Other Posts Relating to Remembrances: After a Parent’s Death: Writing a Remembrance, Part II, After an Aging Parent’s Death: Obituaries and Remembrances, Mother’s Memorial Service We write remembrances after a loved one dies. Written memorials or tributes, usually penned by family members, are used in committal or memorial services or simply shared in conversation. … Continue reading
Writing a Parent’s Remembrance, Part I
Other Posts Relating to Remembrances: After a Parent’s Death: Writing a Remembrance, Part II, After an Aging Parent’s Death: Obituaries and Remembrances, Mother’s Memorial Service When an elderly parent accumulates serious medical diagnoses, becomes weaker, and is sick more often than not, set aside time to review memories and talk about life. Engage in … Continue reading
Read Jane Brody on the End of a Much-Loved Life
This essay, When the Only Hope is a Peaceful End,written by Jane Brody, describes the last months, last days, and death of her husband, Richard. The piece is in today’s New York Times Personal Health section (March 16, 2010). Take a few moments to read an amazing and loving description of the end-of-life. People who … Continue reading
Aging Parents: Caregiving and Saying Good-bye
Caregiving, especially helping to care for an aging parent who is ill and nearing the end of life, is arduous. One never stops asking questions about “doing the right thing.” Throughout this challenging time an aging child has lot of things to say, memories to review, and good-byes to be arranged for family members near … Continue reading
Aging Parents: Asking Questions After a Death
A friend whose mother is seriously ill asked, “What do you think about after your parent is gone, the services are over, and you are moving on with life, but without the person?” My answer? We share memories and we ask questions. The memories are easy, because they come to us. No matter what … Continue reading
After an Aging Parent’s Death: Obituaries and Remembrances
Other Posts Relating to Remembrances: After a Parent’s Death: Writing a Remembrance, Part II, After an Aging Parent’s Death: Obituaries and Remembrances, Mother’s Memorial Service Since my mother-in-law passed away in January, each day has included tasks for us to accomplish, all relating to the ending of a life and the transition to the … Continue reading
Mother’s Memorial Service
Other Posts Relating to Remembrances: After a Parent’s Death: Obituaries and Remembrances, After a Parent’s Death: Writing a Remembrance, Part II, After a Parent’s Death: Writing a Remembrance, Part I Our goal was to plan a memorial service that celebrated the life of my husband’s mother. As she was two months shy of her … Continue reading
As Our Parents Age So Do We 