After Death Details, Part II: Moving Through Routines

On the day mother died, last Monday, there were basic things to do, and because they did not require a great deal of thinking, they were easy to accomplish, especially because my husband is an only child.

We had to:

  • Call our daughter.
  • Arrange for the hospital bed, wheel chair, and oxygen to be picked up.
  • Call and speak with Mother’s caregivers.
  • Follow up with the funeral home.
  • Call various relatives.
  • Tidy up Mother’s apartment so it feels less hospital like.
  • Take a nap because we had been called around 3:30 in the morning, and we had been there until 6:30 or so.
  • Receive many drop-in visitors at mother’s assisted living apartment (a great privilege).

Because Mother’s brother is only a few years younger than her and now is the last of the senior family members, we decided, together with his daughter, to wait a week to tell him so that she could travel and be there when we tell him about his sister’s death. This postpones scheduling and seeing to details about one of the memorial services because it will be in his town.

The rest of the week included:

  • Getting papers in order.
  • Calling Social Security
  • Calling other benefit and pension offices
  • Thinking about, but not doing anything about her possessions.

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