Thanksgiving: A Time To See Older Relatives

Yes, Thanksgiving is a time for adult children to pack up and pay a visit to parents, where ever their homes may be.

Today’s Washington Post, it’s the last Sunday before Thanksgiving 2014, features an interesting article, Thanksgiving: A Rare Holiday That’s Isn’t All About Kids. The short piece, appearing in the Post’s Outlook section, points out that although Thanksgiving celebrations include lots of multigenerational activities, the holiday itself has not become as kid-centered or commercial as other holidays such as Christmas and Easter.

01-Jan-2012_to_31-Dec-2012-1According to author Jack Santino, a folklorist at Bowling Green State University, the holiday is geared toward important concepts like giving and thanks, but it also recognizes our need to go home — and sometimes considerable distances — to reconnect with parents and other relatives. Thanksgiving Day celebrations emphasize traditions of families, extended families, and country.                              Continue reading

My Grandfather, a Small Church, and Italian Immigrants

The playground where this story took place is behind the Silver Lake Baptist Church (as it used to look) in Belleville, New Jersey.

The church in Belleville, New Jersey.

(A memoir written with the assistance of my father, Reverend Elmo Pascale.)

A  church in Belleville, New Jersey, will celebrate its 100th anniversary in November 2014, and my grandfather, Benedetto Pascale, founded that church in 1914. Several years earlier, in 1909, he had traveled from Naples, Italy to Boston and eventually to the mills in Lawrence, MA, where he labored just in time for the Bread and Roses workers strike (I’ll be writing more on this later in a later post).

The manifest from the White Star Line ship Canopic, which brought my grandfather to the United States. arriving on March 23. 1909.

The manifest from the White Star Line ship Canopic, which brought my grandfather to the United States, arriving on March 23. 1909.

Immigrants arriving from Italy and looking for a Catholic church often found their way blocked by large Irish congregations (I learned this at a Lawrence Massachusetts Museum that focuses on the textile mills and the immigrant experiences).

One of the old mills in Lawrence, Massachusetts. My Grandfather worked in one of these buildings (and today  there dozens of them still stand).

One of the old mills in Lawrence, Massachusetts. My Grandfather worked in one of these buildings (and today  there dozens of them still stand).

When northeastern United States evangelical Baptist leaders observed this situation they took action. They began welcoming immigrants into their churches, identifying young men with leadership potential. They helped the men learn English and finish high school, guiding them through the naturalization process, and encouraging a select few  to go into the ministry. Grandpa Pascale was one of these men, eventually attending seminary at a small Colgate University storefront on Deitz Avenue in Brooklyn.                                       Continue reading

Cyber Seniors Documentary: Well Done!

This afternoon at the Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI) conference in Washington, DC, I saw clips from a documentary, Cyber-Seniors, about teenage volunteers in Toronto who work with elders — people in their mid to late 80s and older — and the rich clarity of their interactions. Many of these people retired before computers appeared in any significant way into the workplace.

The movie, which travelled around film festivals, has already screened in more than 80 viewings around Canada and the United States — with more to come. It shares special moments, difficult moments, looks of wonder, moderate shock (usually at what grandparents see on their grandchildren’s pages), and the excitement we all feel when we learn something new. And yes, sometimes it’s funny. Cyber-Seniors has garnered lots of good press. (I do wish, however, that people in the media would stop calling elders “cute.” You media folks will grow older some day andhttp://www.mercurynews.com/business/ci_26931356/magid-exclusive-amazon-fire-phones-fight-ebola-west-africa you WILL NOT appreciate being labeled as cute.)

Here’s a clip of a teenage mentor teaching a woman to take a selfie.

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Making Decisions: What to Do As One Ages

As I grow older and begin to think a bit about my retirement years, I sometimes ask myself whether I might do something — or stop doing it — once I retire. Usually this inner dialog focuses on the amount of money I am paying, leading me on to wonder whether I will even have the money for the activity once I retire.

At Virginia Mennonite Retirement, where my parents live, a wellness center offers exercise opportunities to residents and invites people from outside the VMRC community to join.

At Virginia Mennonite Retirement (VMRC), where my parents live, a wellness center/health club offers wide-ranging exercise opportunities to residents and also invites people of all ages  from outside the VMRC community to join.

A place that I visit regularly, sometimes as often as five or six times a week, is my health club, and this inner conversation occurs almost every time I sign in to exercise. Right now my employer shares the monthly cost of my time at the gym, and after more than twelve years I continue to take advantage of this benefit, exercising regularly.

When I do retire, I wonder, if I will be able to make up my employer’s contribution and continue working out at this club? Lately I’ve looked around the gym and noticed just how few older individuals are exercising — my club is a huge and well run metropolitan chain with many locations in my area. Now that I’ve read State of the Art Fitness: For Whom? — a recent post over at the Changing Aging blog — I am ruminating on the topic more and more.

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Falls, Falls, and More Falls – Part II

The other day I wrote about elder adults and falls after reading Bracing for the Falls of an Aging Nation, published in the November 2, 2014 New York Times. The author, Katie Hafner, wrote about the extreme challenges of falls for aging individuals. The next day, November 3rd, part II appeared. Katie Hafner’s second piece, A Tiny Stumble, A Life Upended, focused on one individual and her arduous recovery from a damaging fall. Both articles are worth reading.

My Past Blog Posts on Adult Falls

Falls, Falls, and More Falls for Older Adults – NY Times Article

The line on each bar illustrates the margin or error. Statisticians call this a confidence interval.

The line on each bar illustrates the margin or error. Statisticians call this a confidence interval.

I’ve just finished reading Bracing for the Falls of an Aging Nation, uploaded a few hours ago on the New York Times website. Long time readers of this blog, AsOurParentsAge,  know that I’ve been keenly interested in falls, and I’ve written about them often (see a list of links at the end of this post). My husband’s parents experienced some terrible falls, and one lead within to my father-in-law’s death a month or so afterward.

The Times article, by Katie Hafner, datelined in San Francisco, describes the increasing frequency of elder falls and the challenges presented, principally in one community for older adults. This is a long and detailed article, periodically quoting elder experts in the field and highlighting that many older adults, even the parents of some of these experts, continue to reject canes, walkers, and other supports that offer them greater balance. The report includes several excellent graphics. Continue reading